On My Mind #8

This is sort of a follow up to this post. I got a comment from my friend Judy the other day and it made me really think about my work and photogaphy and art in general. When I was a graphic designer, I went to a design intensive called Project M in Maine right after I finished art school. Five recently graduated design students (including me) went to live and work in a house together for one month. It was like MTV's Real World meets Communication Arts. Anyway, the point of bringing that up is that I really struggled in that group beause I wanted to make work that was beautiful. I believed that beauty on its own was enough. Others argued that the work had to have meaning as well. I said that beauty had inherent meaning. Ironically, as a photographer, I disagree with that which I embraced as a designer. Actually, that is not completely true. Work can be just beautiful and that beauty can give me pleasure. Work like that of Elizabeth Messina and Jose Villa fall into that category for me. There is no denying that their work is stunningly and overwhelmingly beautiful. But, for me, it has little to no meaning. I am sure that many of you will vehemently disagree with me and that is fine. The great thing about art is that we can all agree to disagree. It is hugely subjective. And then there is work that is all meaning for me. Work of people like Nan Goldin falls into this category to me. As a photographer, I strive to find the place where the two meet. I am constantly looking for that place where the photograph has meaning and is simply beautiful. For me the work of people like Julie Blackmon and Sally Mann's older work are right on the money. They are pleasing to look at and they mean something to me.

I am constantly searching. Some days I give up more easily than others. But I am incapable of just going through the motions. Sometimes I wish I could. Sometimes I think I would not be so tired after a session if I could. Some photographers can shoot all day. Not me. Two hours and I am exhausted. I need to go to bed afterwards (that might just be because I am an old fart). I have been looking and trying to see. Sometimes I succeed, but more often than not, I fail. But I will keep trying.