Rock Bottom

Today I think I have finally reached the end of my rope. I cannot bear to pick up one more toy or wash one more dish or do one more load of laundry. I cannot bear to hear Ben whine for an hour straight, nothing making him happy. I cannot look at Josh's dresser and see the clean clothes sitting on top that he NEVER puts away. All the while the dogs are neglected and haven't been walked in days and there is STUFF everywhere you look in the house. I can't even remember the last time I paid bills. Who has the time?And why is it that EVERYTHING that is done in this house has to be done by me? Not only do I cut the nails of every creature in this house, but the one person's whose I don't (Josh's) has to be nagged CONSTANTLY to cut them himself. I keep thinking that I need to remind him to trim his beard this week. I mean PEOPLE, I can only keep so much stuff in my brain. Seriously though, how did my mom do it? How did she keep the house clean, put dinner on the table, decorate the house for Christmas? Oh yeah, she totally ignored us and was emotionally unavailable. Well, every system has to have a glitch. Fuck Calgon. Heroin take me away...