G.I. Lame

I have never done anything by halves. I am the queen of all or nothing. I am either a total couch potato or in really good shape. And right now I am a big, huge potato. So with my impending visit back home I figured that I'd better get my butt in gear and I signed up for a boot camp at the Y at 6:00 in the morning. I know. Boot camp. What was I thinking?So I show up on time in my exercise gear that has not seen the light of day in a very long time. I am expecting a bunch of middle aged, overweight women, but no. It's a bunch of trim, 20ish women looking way too fit. And I instantly knew I was screwed. So we start with, what else but, jogging in circles in the gym. And I think "I am doing okay. I don't feel too bad. It's like riding a bike". And then the real fun starts. Suicide sprints, tricep dips, push ups, oh so many and oh so fast. All of a sudden I know what's coming. I am going to puke. It's been 30 minutes and I am already heading for the toilets. Quel wimp. So I go into the bathroom and do my business and the teacher follows me in and very nicely says that boot camp is for people who are already in an exercise routine and maybe I should start off more slowly. I've just had a baby...yada, yada. And she's right and I know she's right. But I am crazy and not so good with moderation. So I drive home the short mile between the gym and my house. I can barely drive. I am seeing double and then I start throwing up over and over again in my lap. Sorry you started reading this aren't you? I can't stop. I finally make it home and park the car cock-eyed in the driveway and stumble in the front door where I peel off my puke encrusted sweatshirt having already forgotten the tee shirt covered in vomit at the Y. Boy I really ruined some poor sap's day. I fell onto the entryway tile and lay there like a dead person and that's where Josh found me. Looking like a dead, beached whale. I then proceeded to sleep until 11:00 that morning. So if you see an overweight, middle aged, pasty faced woman next to you at the Y on the treadmill going really slowly (or more likely in the pool) be sure to wave.