The Ears Have It

I have the worst ear infection right now. Not even vast amounts of ibuprofen and alcohol can make me feel better. I went to the doctor yesterday and he said I have an outer ear infection from my overuse of Qtips. Josh has been telling me for ages not to use these, but I can't help myself. I am truly addicted. Until now. I have been in so much pain the last two days. I have been scouring our medicine cabinet in search of leftover narcotics, especially at three in the morning when I can't sleep. Last night and today it was ten times worse so I went back to the doctor's office today to beg for some good painkillers. Turns out that the meds weren't getting in my ear because it is so swollen. So the doc put a wick in my ear (yes like a candle) to suck up the meds like a tampon and deliver them where needed. I then informed him that he would need to write me a heavy painkiller prescription unless he wanted me camped out in front of his office door moaning (and you KNOW I would do this). I am so high on Vicodin right now. But it STILL hurts. Can you believe it? I thought Vicodin would solve all my problems. It worked for 1950s housewives, didn't it?