Traveling with OCD Man

One thing that people who frequent this blog have to endure is my ramblings that become more verbose when I am traveling, since I have no access to posting photos.Airplanes have become petri dishes for humanity at large. I am currently reading 'Up in the Air' and I find it curious how little he talks about how surreal air travel can be. Today I am flying Southwest and it sucks. I hate not being assigned a seat. I am an aisle girl. At 5 foot 10 I need some extra leg room. So I boarded the plane in the very last group (of course). And all that was left were middle seats in between TWO people. So I sat in between two men, both middle aged who looked like the quiet types. Boy was I wrong. The guy sitting next to the window was a small man who was thin and wiry. Little did I know that he was OCD guy. This man moved around so much that he makes Ben look lethargic. He moved constantly, grabbing this and that out of his bag. And each time he did so he elbowed me with his sharp, skinny elbow. And did he say sorry? NO! Did he even acknowledge that he was being rude? No way. When he pulled out an inflatable full sized pilow and a PILLOW CASE I almost burst out laughing. It reminded me of the episode of 'Sex in the City' where Carrie is on jury duty and this one man keeps bringing a briefcase with him and every day he pulls out a different piece if fruit that is not an obvious choice to eat on the fly--like a mango or a persimmon. So my neighbor blows up his inflatable pillow and stuffs it into his plain vanilla white case. He then spends the next ten minutes trying to get every aspect of the pillow just right. He adjusted and readjusted. And it took every ounce of control that I had not to back knuckle him and tell him he is an idiot. So he puts his pillow on his lap and proceeds to test it by hugging it and putting his head down on it. He then--I kid you not--pulled out an eye mask and ear plugs. It was 1:00 in the afternoon and while I applaud anyone who can sleep in the middle of the day, his methods were a tad excessive. And this flight was loud. Super loud. Every time I am on a plane to Vegas it is party central and this was no exception. I even overheard a conversation where a guy was saying "I actually own a breathalyzer". So he proceeds to nap and then every ten minutes or so he abruptly lifts his head, opens the window shade, looks out the window, shuts the shade and puts his head on the pillow. What fresh hell is this I wonder? He does it over and over again. When his nap is over he starts rumaging through his bag (which he needs to hit and elbow me to get at) takes something out and puts it back. He does this over and OVER and OVER AGAIN. He applies lip balm, grabs his paper and I wonder why he cannot get everything he needs at once. But of course he cannot because this would be less annoying to me. At the end of the flight he is on his cell phone calling the company that is picking him up. When he spells his last name, it is I kid you not, FROCKMAN. Enough said.