Slacker

Boy have I been a slacker lately. All I want to do is hibernate by lying in bed with a good book. Walking up the stairs has proven to be a workout. How sad is that?Turns out I do not have gestational diabetes—lucky me. Just some anemia and low thyroid count neither of which is new for me. That and a big ol' baby that will not stop moving for even one second. This is an active one and I am terrified. Ben was such an easy baby that we knew if we ever had another one we would have to pay for our earlier good fortune. This may be it. Time to pay up. I haven't picked up my camera in ages. Pregnancy is always a bit of a creative void for me. But at least pretty soon I will have some fresh meat to photograph. Get ready to see lots and lots of baby feet. My mother-in-law is trying to pressure me into giving her a delivery date so she can 'plan' her coming out here. She did this with Ben as well. Why don't people get it (especially women who have had babies)? There is NO planning their arrival. They get all the say and we get none. She is trying to come around Rosh Hashana. But even the high holidays cannot bring forth a baby that is not yet ready to come out. Ben started his new school last week. He will just be going two days per week until they have space for another full timer. It's a totally hippie school that reminds me of Berkeley. The kids all run around outside most of the day in nothing but shoes and a diaper and they do art projects all day. I came to pick him up and he was standing at the water tray in just his diaper with glitter all over him and looking very pleased. I think he will be happy there.

Adjustments

Boy what a day! Just when I thought things were settling down a bit they went into overdrive. First I have a corgi who is marking all over the entire house (he's never done that before) because he is so freaked out after the move. Now I had to take Ben out of his daycare because he hates it there so I have to start that search all over again. UGH! And I am so exhausted all of the time. I practically fall asleep on my feet all day long. And Josh is out of town right now. What's a pregnant, childcare-less girl to do?Then I called my friend Stacy in California and asked her advice about the daycare thing since she knows Ben really well. He got on the phone with her and her daughter Zora (who was in his childcare share for 2 years). He was so happy to talk to them. After we hung up he seemed really melancholic so I asked him if he liked talking to Zora he said "yeah" (really quietly). Then I asked if he was sad and he said "yeah". BROKE MY LITTLE HEART IN TWO! One nice thing was that we played with Melanie and her son Grayson today. And Ben really took to Grayson. This morning I had to take him out of the daycare because he was clinging to stay with me and this afternoon he threw a FIT because he didn't want to leave Grayson. He said his name ALL THE WAY HOME except he calls him Grays. It was like being trapped in a vehicle with Marlon Brando screaming STELLA for miles.

In Need of a Margarita

Man I could use a drink. What a day! I am up to my ears with bills and student loan bureaucracy and on top of it I may have gestational diabetes so I have to take some three hour test. Ugh! At least it might explain why I have been so darn tired lately and why I am as BIG AS A HOUSE. Ben started daycare today and he seemed to like it. So why do I feel guilty? Like I am a bad, bad mommy?And I am so happy that we now have so much space, but I am lonely too. I really miss all of my friends. I knew I should have abducted them all and forced them to live in Central Texas with me. Josh was worried about the my-going-to-prison thing, but I figured they would never rat me out once they found out about the Starbucks drive-thru.

Austin Update

Things here are swimming along. We have been doing a lot of work on the house and hemorraghing money. But it already looks SO much better. It is strange having this much space and no longer tripping over each other. There are still many boxes to unpack but at least we can find our clothes.I met a couple of mamas off the austinmamas list. It's like dating except instead of the promise of the possibility of sex there is the possibility of someone to hang out with when you have your kid. Needless to say, I do not put makeup on before these encounters. That's the nice thing about moms and toddlers. As long as you have clothes on and don't smell TOO bad, you're in. I am almost done with week three of being with Ben 24/7 and it's getting old. Can't wait for Monday and daycare to begin. Of course Josh is going out of town next week. Ugh! He gets to go back to California for work. He's going to beat me back there—drat. Overall, I am enjoying Austin but I do miss my friends a lot. I miss how easy it is with them. Everything is a bit harder here but also a little more exciting because even going to the grocery store feels a bit like an adventure. I know. My life is so sad. Our neighborhood is total suburbia. I can't get the theme song from Weeds out of my head every time I drive down the street. This morning I was turning into the drive thru Starbucks (how psyched am I that there is one right down the street). I couldn't get Ben to spit out the piece of apple he was hoarding in his mouth. I knew that if I got a frappucino he would get rid of it so that he could drink some of that cold yummy goodness. And it worked like a charm. Think that has anything to do with why he wouldn't take a nap today? Anyway, I was turning into lazy coffee drinkers mecca and there were four SUVs in front of me pulling in as well. All us suburban moms getting our caffeine fix so we can survive our meaningless suburban existences. I am getting so macabre. Need to up that prozac.

Whoops!


Whoops!, originally uploaded by lazygirl.

Did a shoot and used my Hassie and must have messed up the film loading. Still like it anyway.

A First

Well, I saw my first flying roach today. What a winning experience that was. And I just have to say that our little Mazda Protege looks like a Mini Cooper here next to all the SUVs and big ass trucks.

Handymen and Plumbers and GardenersOh My!

As of Saturday we are officially 'moved in' to our new house. And what an adventure it has been. Every time we turn a corner we find five more things that need to be fixed. It makes me want to sit in one place and stay still. Over the last week we have had about 40 craftsmen traipsing through the house throwing out huge dollar estimates and we just sign checks and hope for the best.My parents got here on Friday and they were a LIFESAVER. They were totally amazing. They would work for hours straight and need no directions on what to do/unpack. I have been hard on my parents from time to time in the past, but they really came through for us big time. I told them at dinner last night that if it weren't for them we would still be walking around staring at the boxes and feeling overwhelmed, if not in tears. We are slowly adjusting to life in Austin. We have had little time to explore Austin, which is a bit of a bummer, but there will be plenty of time for that. Right now we are up to our ears in new garage doors and tree trimmers. The people who lived here for 13 years had kids and dogs and cats did NOTHING to upkeep this place. Something broke and they just walked away. A dog peed and they just left it (which has left Tucker marking everywhere even AFTER the steam cleaner came). They make me look like Martha Stewart in the housekeeping department. I haven't taken any photos yet of the house but will try to do so soon to share. Today we are going to a neighbor's house for a bbq. Our first social event in Texas. People here are VERY friendly. I must admit that it's just a little disconcerting to an urbanite like me. But I will adjust.

The Scale of Suckiness

On a scale of one to ten today was a 43 on the scale of suckiness. I will once again say HOW DO YOU SAHMS DO IT? I was losing my mind. I went to the new house today and I had a team coming to clean and the Sears delivery guys there and not only was the water not turned on but there was no gas. Turns out Josh had it turned on on the web but they never told him that he needed to do it somewhere else. Just goes to show that if it seems too easy to be true...Luckily our new neighbors Emori and Laura saved the day because they figured out how to turn on the water from the street. It's nice to know that some people can actually fix things (and that they live nearby) because I sure as hell can't. I was raised in Marin and taught to make a phone call and throw a credit card at every problem.So while I am trying to deal with all of this Ben is running around crying and screaming HOLD ME!!! I am incapable of doing more than one thing at a time if I want to do anything well. This does not mean that I don't multi-task constantly because of course I do. But it makes me a bit crazy. So here I am losing it and sweating like a pig in a steam room with this two year-old who is making me crazy. And all I want to do is go to work in the mornings. I am jealous every time Josh gets up to go into the office. I look beseechingly at him to take me too. I read this great Anne Lamott essay recently where she talks about how it always feels like she goes from 0-60 in two seconds flat in the anger arena, but really she is constantly idling at 59 and it takes so little to send her over the edge. That is me! I am always at the precipice of the cliff and about to fall over and it takes SO LITTLE to send me off. I strive to live further back from the edge but it is a work in progress. I am not so ambitious as to expect that I will ever be really zen about anything, but I would like to minimize the number of times I go postal every day. I think I need some serious yoga or drugs. Whichever I can get my hands on first and since this is America, I am betting on the drugs.

Singing the Hotel Blues

It is 9:48 in Austin and Ben has no desire to go to sleep. Putting a kid to bed when we are all in one room is quite the feat. I think Josh is about to lose it.Ben and I had a busy day today. We went to the Austin Children's Museum and he LOVED it. I must admit that it's pretty cool. A good deal of the moms there looked WAY more put together than I will ever be. I felt like the fat step sister in Cinderella. I madly arranged for people to come to the new house and clean it before we move all of stuff in and mess it up again. I am so good at throwing money at a problem. Or should I say throwing a credit card at a problem? Staying with Ben 24 hours/day is a bit exhausting. I will be so happy when I find childcare. I found this GREAT groups call Austin Mamas and the women on there have already been SO helpful and welcoming. Maybe I will be able to make some friends after all. Better go before Josh throws something.