I have been meaning to post this photo for weeks. How cute is this little one?
Movie
Last weekend was really yucky weather-wise so we had our friends the Simons over to watch Ratatouille on dvd. We had queso and brownies and all sorts of junk food. Ben didn't make it through the whole movie but Sam was a trooper. The one side effect from this film is that now when I am cooking I can't help but speak with a French accent. Of course Sam is the only one who is privy to this performance and he promises not to make fun of me. For now.
Dawn
Sleeper
Manhole
Those of you who have known me even for a little bit probably already know this anecdote that I tell all of the time. It was told to me by my much beloved therapist in San Francisco and it is apparently an old AA analogy. It goes like this: Every day you are walking down the street and all of a sudden you are tumbling down a manhole. You didn't see it coming and have no idea of how you fell. Then after much therapy and self awareness you begin to see the manhole but you continue to fall down it. Which is worse because not only are you stumbling into it, but now you see it happening and feel powerless to stop it. The goal is, of course, to see the upcoming manhole and walk around it. For the past ten years or so I have been falling in that manhole and damn if I don't see it a mile away EVERY time.I have all of these things I do (or don't do) in order to keep my head above water and none of them are serving me well. Yet I feel unable to change them. I know I should exercise and that it will make me feel better. But I don't. I know I should eat well because it will make me healthier and give me more energy. But I don't. I know that if I pay my bills on time and I keep an orderly house and workspace I will feel more in charge of my life. But I don't. I know that if I search for the work that I want, it will come. But I don't. And so here I am. STUCK. And unable or unwilling to change it. It is so easy for me to look at other people's lives and know what they should do to change things. I am much easier on other people and insist that they should cut themselves a break. But if my life is less than ideal I figure I should just give up everything. No moderation for me. It is all or nothing. This, as well, does not serve me. If I could just find one thing a day that I could do that would make me feel better. If I could feel better about doing JUST one thing instead of feeling like it ALL has to be done or there's no use. Maybe that would be a beginning.
Two Years Ago
The Nine Faces of Ben
Thankful
I am thankful for so many things in my life. For my wonderful husband and partner in life. I am oh so very thankful for my two lovely, healthy children. And my family who has carried me through so much. Not to mention my dear friends in California who have stood me up when I was down. And I am especially thankful at this time for friends like the Simons, who invited us into their home for our first Thanksgiving away from ours. I hope yours was as nice as ours was.
Mmm Coffee
The Nine Faces of Sam
in portraits
The Prisoner
Tucker is currently on a leash that is wrapped around my waist. He is no longer allowed to be unsupervised for even a minute. I have had it with the marking in the house and am finally dealing with it. At least for now. Let's see how long I last. But for the time being he is incarcerated with no possibility of parole.
Bad Hair Day
Special Texas Moments
in portraits
I had not one but TWO special Texas moments today. The first was driving by the Texas School for the Blind with a sign wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and then said FOOD FAMILY FRIENDSHIP FOOTBALL. Oh yes let's NOT forget the football. I wonder what would happen if I hung that sign in Berkeley. Actually, I know exactly what would happen. Not only would people object to the football reference but they would have to assemble to debate Thanksgiving as a valid US holiday considering the mistreatment of Native Americans. Not to mention what is happening in Iraq.The other special moment was when I walked out of the UPS store and went to put Sam's car seat in the back seat when I saw that not only had somebody in a HUGE red truck parked VERY close to me, but they also had three large dogs in the front seat, with the window down, barking like crazy as if to say "Come near us lady and we WILL take your head off". Luckily the gentleman who owned this car came out and kindly offered to get out of my way and apologized for parking so closely. Then when it took awhile for him to start his car he peeked out of the driver's side to share with me how pesky his breathalyzer was that is attached to his car because it takes 30 seconds before he can start his car up. Now THAT is a new one.
One Year Ago
Oh my. What a difference a year makes. I can't believe this is Ben. I am going to lock him in a short closet and demand that he stop growing (but still become independent).
Stand Up and Be Counted
Lurkers beware of what I am about to ask of you. I am curious to know who reads this blog. What are your hopes? Your dreams? Your favorite drink at Starbucks? So if you are brave enough please comment and tell one thing about yourself. It can be your favorite movie, the best book you read, the city you live in, your most embarrassing moment (doubtful right), whatever. I looked up those statistic thingys and it says that there have been 920 unique visitors this month. I confess that I have NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS but it sounds like 920 SEPARATE people (other than my mother) have looked at this website so far in this month only. Doesn't it sound like that (I have such a hard time believing that this many people read anything I have written)? So PLEASE let me hear from you. Pretty please.
Wonder
It Only Took Two Years
It only took two years for my family to find my blog. And it was my mother of all people who discovered it. I say that incredulously because my mom, while great with computers, is not what I would call technically adventurous.It's not that I was hiding it by any means. I am easier to find on google than your closest Starbucks. But I was curious to see how long it would take for them to discover that I wrote things about my life. PUBLICLY. I took the advice of Heather Armstrong who had written about her family in the past and regretted it when they found her blog. So I do not write things on this blog that I don't want the the whole world to know. Whether or not the whole world cares . . . well of course they don't. They've got really important things to think about. Like global warming, the situation in Iraq and where the nearest Starbucks is.
Farmer's Market
We went to the downtown farmer's market today with our friends Melanie and Greyson. Sam managed to poop all over his outfit so we had to buy him a new one. Luckily local illustrator Will Heron was there with his great screen printed infant clothes. Of course this was the one time that I had no spare clothes and no changing pad and only three wipes. The next time I will be prepared and of course nothing will happen. And our credit card can rest for a change.
The Laptop
The Urinal
All I smell all day is pee and poop. Even if it is nowhere in sight, the olfactory memory lingers in my nostrils. Not only do I have two children to clean up after but two dogs as well. Lula is pretty low maintenance. She poops in the backyard and I never clean it up. Tucker however is STILL marking all over the house. To say it is irksome is an understatement. If I only had $10 for every time I have stepped into dog pee with my bare foot. Not the most pleasant sensation.The research I have done has all pointed to the cure for marking being daily walks and constant supervision in order to catch him in the act. Great. Just what I need. ANOTHER living thing that I need to CONSTANTLY supervise. Who am I kidding? Better buy stock in Nature's Miracle. Something tells me consumption of this product is going to go way up.