The Hairdresser

I went to the hairdresser today for the first time in eight months. She did a good job, but I do miss the woman I saw in Berkeley, Mercelle. I did manage to pick up a few funny tidbits during my visit there. One was when the hairdresser said "God gives us children when He's ready and there is really nothing you can do about it". At which point I couldn't help thinking, loudly, YOU CAN HAVE SEX! THAT WILL HELP ALOT IF YOU WANT KIDS. And then there's BIRTH CONTROL if you don't. The other funny thing I heard was when this hipster looking guy came in with hair down to his shoulders and said to his haircare professional "I was told to come in here and get an adult haircut". Guess it's time for him to get a job.

Dudley Do Right

Yesterday Josh headed off to the Apple store on my behalf to get my monitor problem resolved. And boy did he get some satisfaction. After weeks of travail they gave him a "we usually don't do this" new monitor. Yippee! No more magenta hell. He ran into Stephanie there where it sounds like she didn't have as great a time. The Genius Bar is hell, but I guess it is better than hanging on the phone with Apple Care. And even though she didn't use the button trick, it is at least an option in the stores. Over the phone would be a bit tougher. Not to mention that if I tried this trick they would get a face full of breast milk. Don't think that would win me any expedited service. Unless they just indulged me to get them the hell OUT of their store. Crazy lactating woman.

Coffee Daddy

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Yesterday morning after I got up, Josh relayed this story to me. Josh got up with Ben early that morning and was half asleep on the couch when Ben came up to him.BEN: "Coffee Daddy." JOSH: "Daddy doesn't want coffee yet Ben." BEN: "Daddy COOOOFFFFFEEEE" (while pulling off Josh's blanket) So Josh lets Ben lead him into the kitchen where my leftover espresso from the day before is spilled all over the counter tops. So this left Josh and I to ponder. Was he trying to make coffee for Josh or for himself? Guess we will never know.

Small Favors

Do you ever feel like you just have a KICK ME sign on your back and the whole damn world is taking advantage of it? Boy I sure do. I feel like that a good deal lately.I wrote about my adventures at the Apple store a few weeks ago, but I never followed up with the disaster it has become. After having them fix it, they shipped it back to me and it was all magenta (not the original problem). I took it back to the GENIUS BAR and they sent it back to be fixed for this new problem. Just got it yesterday and yep. You guessed it. Still magenta. So Josh and I are going to storm the Apple castle tomorrow at opening time. We are going to arrive with no appointment and demand some satisfaction. I am taking him to help me kick some tuckus. This has been going on for five weeks. FIVE! Luckily I have a second monitor that is smaller, but works. Imagine if I didn't. I would have been screwed and basically forced to buy another one to use in the interim. On top of this my web host provider has been sucking eggs for the last few months and I have been having problems galore that have taken weeks to solve (not to mention the hours I have spent on hold). I talked to someone in sales today and he said " But you have almost weathered the storm. The new system will be all done next month". Not my storm. Their storm. And I have been paying them all during THEIR storm. What has happened to shift the tides such that corporate America has begun to think that their problems are our problems and that we should just be grateful for the fact that they are willing to take our money off our hands? And last, but not least, to top it off, the five year old boy who lives next door said to me today "You're kind of fat". Well at least he said "kind of". At least he didn't say "really". I am trying to look on the bright side of things.

The Baby Killers

I heard the best line today. On and off I go to a group for postpartum moms. It's a support group for mothers who struggle with depression. One of the women, who I really like, paraphrased a conversation she had with her sister recently. My friend said that she was going to our group and the sister asked "Is this the group where the women all want to kill their babies?" My answer would be "Yes. And after that we plan to move on to puppies".

My Eyes Are Up Here

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Every time Sam wants to nurse he does this little show that almost seems to say "I am trying to seduce you into giving me what I want". And whenever he is around me he is always, and I mean always, looking at my chest. So between this fact and watching Sam get such pleasure out of nursing, Ben has also started to stare at my breasts as if to say "I know there is something magical there, but I am not quite sure what it is". So I want to walk around the house with a tee shirt that says MY EYES ARE UP HERE with an arrow pointing upwards. Men. I grew up in a household full of them and I am once again stuck in a household full of them.

Sign of the Times

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I've notcied that Austin has a lot of signs that display messages around town. Like the one I saw in December, they offer people's or organization's opinions on things. There is a church near our house that says "People Helping People Following Christ". I couldn't help myself. I burst into song. Barbra Streisand's voice hummed through my ears and I began to belt out "People Who Need People are the "Luckiest People in the World". Then there was the sign at the School for the Blind and the Visually Impaired that congratulated their cheerleaders for winning a regional tournament. I am all for equal educational experiences, but cheerleaders?