Dear Mom

People always say how grateful they are for their parents once they become parents themselves. I think this is true, but a bit simplistic. I have found that I do truly appreciate you more now that I have children of my own, but I also find myself examining my childhood anew. Wondering what your motiviation was for certain things you said or did. Wondering how you coped with it all, how you made it through each day. I struggle so much with being a parent. I begin to wonder in what ways you struggled. What your challenges were and why you made the choices you did.I think that being a mother is the most thankless task around. It is relentless. Satisfying the needs of little children is a constant task. It is one marathon after another and leaves no one room for us as individuals. No room for any sense of 'self'. And so I thank you. I thank you for all the nights you lost sleep because I was sick or sleepless. I thank you for doing your best every day. For showing up even when you were tired or just didn't want to. For staying and not leaving. For not turning your back on me even when I tried to push you away or kick you out of my life or my heart. For all that you gave and continue to give constantly, even well into my adulthood. I have never felt so alone as I have felt as a mother, but also such a part of something bigger. All my life I sought to "belong" and I finally feel a part of something here. As if the sum of Josh, Sam, Ben and I is greater than our parts. I often find myself thinking of something I used to say to you and Dad when I was a teenager. I would say that my friends were my family now. And Dad would reply that no one would ever love and support me like my family would. And he was right. I knew this soon after the conversation. But I truly realized this after I had children of my own. People will come and go in Sam and Ben's lives, but I will always be there for them, no matter what. As you have been for me. And so, I thank you.

Puppy

in

We went to Miranda's birthday party on Sunday and one of the guests brought this little bundle of joy. Her name is Suki._MG_6016_5D_0208.jpg _MG_6049_5D_0208.jpg

F@ckin'

I know these are old news but I can't help myself. I laugh and laugh and laugh when I watch these. So just in case any of you are as out of the popular culture loop as I am, I thought I would share.

I Need Sugar

in

On Valentine's Day, Ben's school had a little party which involved lots of pink and red and of course, sugar. I brought my camera along and tried to document the craziness and wonderful qualities of his home away from home. After much angst and trial and error with the preschool searching process, I am so happy with where he is. The love and care he gets there is amazing as well as the skills and tools to be a good citizen he has acquired. The woman pictured below with black, curly hair is Ben's teacher Rocky, whom he loves. Ben was double fisting most of the afternoon. Cookie in one hand, lollipop in the other. At one point he dipped his lollipop in the glitter and showed it off proudly (see pic below). Sam was once again looked after by all the children and seemed to enjoy just taking it all in. On the way home Ben kept saying "I need sugar. I need chocolate". The high is so good, but coming down is murder.

benswings.jpg blonde.jpg

It Takes a Village

Two weeks ago our nanny and friend, Meagan, came to live with us with her son Noah (who is 2.5) and her dog Sierra. If you had told me six months ago that someone would be living with us I would have scoffed at the idea. But the stars collided in this instance. Meagan was the right person and this was the right time. Privacy was a consideration, of course. But frankly, privacy goes out the door with two young children. And parenting can be such a lonely and isolating task. It makes it so much less lonely to do it with someone else during the day when Josh is at work. I have tried thus far to guard her privacy and not tell too many stories out of school. But I told her that now that she has moved in, all bets are off. So these pages will be peppered with stories of Meagan and her posse in the future. One little gossipy bit is that the first week she moved in she got a new boyfriend. Yep. I am THAT good. The fact that we love Meagan, Noah and Sierra makes it all the more special. And Meagan's love for my boys warms my heart. She is not only a wonderful person but an amazing caregiver as well. Her patience seems limitless (unlike some of us, aka ME). I have already learned so much from her good example, not to mention my increased intake of vegetables. AND she does dishes. Jealous, aren't you?

Open Door Policy

What is it about standing in front of an open refrigerator door that kids like so much? Ben loves the fridge. Life revolves around it. It is the hub of activity in our house. He loves to open and close the door. I think our energy bill has tripled. Kids really should be more concerned with global warming. At almost three years old, they really should be more responsible.

What I Am Doing Instead of Working

in

These textures are all the rage now. Not sure what I think of them yet. I am not so good with trendy. They are definitely fun to play with though. Now I will go back to work Josh. I promise to make some money to contribute to this month's Visa bill. This is the problem when your hubby reads your blog. It makes it tough to hide anything.

SPECIAL on Austin Intro Sessions

After seven months of living in Austin and being home with a new baby I am officially dying to get back to work. So I am offering a special "Intro to Austin" photo session price and thought I would share it with you. I am offering this special price to the first dozen people that book a session with me only and as a bonus three of the 12 people to book get a free 10x20 storyboard from their session FREE—$100 value (the three names will be chosen randomly with the old names in a hat routine). So if you are interested send me an e-mail at bonnie@bonnieberryphotography.com and let's get shooting!And for my tried and true clients in California who I am photographing in May (I can't wait! California here I come) you will get a very special treat as well. But sssh. It's a surprise. Click on image above to see it bigger.

Apologies

in

_MG_0558_20D_0208.jpg, originally uploaded by lazygirl.

I am still in webhost hell and can't even login to my blog (I am cheating by posting this via flickr) so I apologize for being absent. And I have SO much good stuff to post. Soon. Sigh.